Star Wars: Attack of the Metre Sticks
by awesomepossum
Summary: A lightweight sortof DFA... involving lightsabres. Need I say more?


A/N: Yay! Another fic inspired by the fine folks at Talk CSI. Where would I be without your insatiable demand for fics? A very lightweight, sort of OOC one-shot (with potential for a follow-up) about what happens when you combine Danny, Aiden, Flack, andStar Wars. (Feel free to flame, lol.) R&R so I have an idea about the sequel, if there is one...

Disclaimer: STILL not mine. bah. but once I dominate the world there's no telling...

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Danny strode down the halls in the New York City Crime Lab with a dorky, starry-eyed expression on his face. He looked rather dopey, grinning conspiratorially to himself as he glanced occasionally at a notepad in his hand. He headed into an evidence room where Aiden was spreading evidence from a box onto the cold, white table; evidence gathered previously which had only today gotten a turn in queue for examination. Aiden glanced up and immediately felt a premonition of a Danny-induced headache coming Mac's way at the sight of his childish smirk.

"What the hell're you grinnin' at?" she asked, amused, half-laughing.

"Guess what day it is today!" he lilted, his grin spreading over his face as he practically bounced over to Aiden's side of the table, setting his notebook down and pulling out evidence baggies.

"Ahh, trick question, huh?" Aiden guessed, rolling her eyes. "Get a calendar. It's the fourth of May, Danny."

"Yuh huh, you're almost there…"

"What? 'Almost' there? What, you want the year? 'Kay, two thousan' five, what more do you want?" she asked, keeping herself steeled for the inevitable bomb that Danny was going to drop.

"Say the date in a different order," Danny prompted, still grinning moronically.

"Enough, Danny, I know ya got somethin' up your sleeve, now spill 'fore I do somethin' drastic," she warned. She pulled the final bag from the box and placed the box on the floor, cutting open the seal on the bag. Danny picked up a bag and a pair of scissors and opened a seal as well, snapping on gloves and pulling a bloody tissue from the bag with a pair of forceps. He placed the tissue under a microscope, pushing his glasses on his forehead as usual while he peered into the depths of the slide. He never lost his weird enthusiasm for whatever was making him so antsy.

"Okay… lemme put it this way," he said, looking up from the microscope cheekily. "It's May the fourth."

"That's what I said, Danny, now why the hell are you smiling like that? I know it's not your birthday, or mine, or anyone else's for all I know…"

"No, s'not a birthday…"

"Then what the hell, Danny, spill!" Aiden was now standing with her hands on her hips, smirking in amusement despite the annoyance her tone held.

Danny sniggered and repeated himself. "It's _May_ the _Fourth_… remind you of a movie?"

"The way you're repeatin' yerself kinda makes me think a' "Groundhog Day"…"

"Nup, not even close," Danny grinned. He really enjoyed getting Aiden's goat like this and he knew it was working. She'd left the evidence back near the box and had stalked over to him at the microscope with her arms folded. Aiden opened her mouth to chew Danny out when Flack stepped into the room and instantly stepped over to Danny and Aiden, wondering what the hell Danny was on about if Aiden looked so pissed yet intrigued.

Flack knew better than to prompt Danny to spill when he was going to do it himself anyway, but he couldn't help himself. That, and Aiden looked about ready to have a full-on spastic attack if Danny didn't tell them what was making him so fidgety.

"Danny…" Flack started, then looked at the maniacal grin plastered on Danny's face and groaned. "It's May fourth, isn't it?" he sighed, with an air of understanding. Aiden was totally in the dark. She looked at Flack expectantly, eyebrows raised. Flack sighed again. "It's May fourth," he started, "or May _the_ fourth, if your name is Danny Messer." Aiden was still clueless. Flack spelled it out, albeit a little embarrassedly. "May the Fourth… be with you," he finished, feeling more than a little stupid for using the phrase Danny had been using since the year before. "Star Wars."

Aiden's smirk was replaced by a deadpan look as she remembered last year. How could she have forgotten? Danny had greeted everyone he saw that day except for suspects and victim's families with the same phrase. "May the Fourth be with you…" After admitting to never having seen any of the films, both Flack and Aiden had been dragged to Danny's apartment to watch every single Star Wars movie in creation. The movie-thon had lasted till the wee hours of the morning, which was unfortunate as the next day was a Wednesday, and all three had to work.

Danny's eyes were sparkling like mad now that Aiden and Flack had clued in on the reason behind his enthusiasm, and he stood up and pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. He grabbed a nearby meter stick and, carefully aiming away from anything delicate, pulled the stick back into a similar position to a baseball batter's over his shoulder. He swung the stick downwards and it hit the ground with a thud, inches away from the feet of his coworkers who both jumped away from Danny as if he were mad. He stood stoically, puffing out his chest and looking down his nose at the two bewildered people before him.

"I am Han Solo, master of the lightsabre, and I am here to defend the honour of Luke and myself as well as others like us against all who defy us. Join me to overturn the Dark Lord! Join against the Dark Forces! Come, young Luke," Danny intoned, imitating Harrison Ford, which was a little strange with his New York accent that he couldn't quite cover up. He nudged his 'lightsabre' back onto his shoulder and pulled Flack by the shoulder till the two men were standing within two feet of each other. Danny looked ridiculously short next to Flack and cleared his throat as he realized it.

Flack looked down in amusement and decided to play along. After all, the movies weren't bad, he decided, and he planned to see the newest installment in theatres. He stepped closer to Danny in an act of intimidation. "I think I'd be better suited to Solo, shorty," he said with amusement as he grabbed the meter stick from Danny. Aiden rolled her eyes.

"Ladies, please, let's not fight over roles, huh?" she said as she perched herself atop a stool near the evidence and pretended to be interested in her job rather than the strange spectacle in front of her.

"Fine by me," Danny half-snarled, "how 'bout _Ham Solo_ here and me fight over Leia instead?"

"And who would Leia be… ohh, no," Aiden said, putting her hands up defensively. "No way. No how. _Not _being princess of a 'galaxy far, far away' boys, sorry."

"Aw, c'mon, Aid," Danny pleaded. "It's Star Wars Day, why not?"

"Yeah, Aid, why not?" Flack surprised himself by asking.

"Coz we gotta job to do?" Aiden suggested.

"Is Mac around?" Danny asked.

"Well, no…"

"Then c'mon, Aid, you don't even hafta do anythin', just sit there an'… I dunno, answer to 'Princess'," Flack suggested. "Do it for us?" Danny and Flack both pouted, still semi-struggling for custody of the 'lightsabre'. Aiden could barely control herself with the wave of hormones that washed over her after seeing both men pouting... at her.

She shrugged off of the stool and sauntered over, plucking the meter stick from the grasps of the two men. "Fine," she sighed. She walked back to the stool and put the meter stick on the counter. "But no hairdos," she warned, flipping her hair into two mounds to demonstrate before shaking them loose again. Both men stared a moment longer than needed as Aiden's dark tresses unfurled around her shoulders. Danny was the first to recover, grabbing two nearby meter sticks and tossing one to Flack, who snapped out of it an instant before the meter stick would have smacked him. He snatched it out of the air and spun it to face Danny.

"I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this, Luke," Flack said darkly, his voice taking on a different tone.

"I am so Han!" Danny cried, then sighed in resignation and hefted his oversized ruler to a poised "attack" position. "Fine… then prepare to die for the love you'll never have!" Danny cried, completely into his new role. He lunged at Flack, who deflected his blow easily. Flack returned with a backhand swipe that Danny just barely managed to duck. Danny jumped around evading Flack's blows, both men immaturely making science-fiction sound effects until Danny finally stood still and caught his 'lightsabre' against Flack's. The two men pushed each other's weapons with all of their might, getting into a shoving match. Surprisingly, despite Flack's height advantage, Danny was standing his ground, and unsurprisingly, Aiden had half-returned to work, though she was secretly enthralled that both men would be fighting over her, role-play or not. She was gazing at them as a mother would her two errant sons when a sharp rap at the door and a stern face caused her to turn back to her work immediately, hunching over the evidence while pretending to have been busy all along. Mac came striding into the room with a look of strict discipline and firm disapproval on his face.

"Danny! Please! Flack! What on earth are you doing?" he asked. Flack dropped the stick and pointed at Danny.

"He started it," Flack said, laying the blame as quickly as possible.

"It's May the Fourth," Danny said sheepishly by way of excuse.

"And…?" Mac asked, cocking his head to the side, demanding a full explanation with one word.

"And we were doing lightsabre battle for the hand a' Princess Leia," Danny responded, smiling cheekily. He swung his meter stick for effect, but Mac caught it and snatched it out of his hands, tossing it to the floor. Danny's smile evaporated.

"Get back to work," Mac snapped, waving his arm towards the door, and Danny mumbled an apology as he sped by and out the door. Mac turned around to face Flack and Danny pulled a face at him through the window. Flack turned his attention towards his superior. "N'you," Mac said darkly, pointing a finger at the taller man's chest, "I expected more from you. I thought – _thought – _you were more mature than Danny. Guess I was wrong. Back to work for you too."

Flack nodded solemnly and placed his meter stick on the counter next to Aiden. Mac came up to Aiden as well, and leaned over the counter beside her to look her in the eyes. "Aiden, I don't want to warn you again, but please keep this rivalry for your attention and affection out of the lab," he smirked, then he got up and left. Aiden's jaw dropped.

"Me! What did I do?"

"You were causing us to battle for your affection, remember?" Flack grinned, then he chucked her on the chin and left. Aiden half-growled in frustration, then returned to the evidence, shaking her head and smiling.

They were fighting for her affection… She grinned happily. They were fighting over her…

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A/N: R&R plz! or the shippersabre will run you through. Not mine though, it's on loan from the DnA thread at Talk CSI lmao... 


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